They are adding new topless shows all the time, so it's hard to keep up! I've seen all of the major topless productions in Vegas. The only show I haven't seen is Hypnosis Gone wild, which only features a brief opening topless scene. I love all of these shows (except the last one), so you will be happy with any of them I think, and I would recommend them all. My trips to Vegas over the past years have allowed me to see these with my wife, so if you're looking for that exotic, Vegas-style topless show, here's my ranking:

1. La Femme (MGM Grand) - this is the 2nd best show overall on the Strip (next to O), and definitely the best topless show. It is an import from Paris and the Crazy Horse Saloon. I've seen the show in Paris, and I can tell you it is 95% identical - even the dancers are the same! This show bills itself as the "art of the nude," and certainly lives up to that billing on all counts. The dancers are all exceptionally beautiful, all 100% natural, no tattoos, no piercings. It's the pure beauty of the female form, with convincingly simulated full nudity courtesy of the "stringless g-string." The show uses lights, dance, humor, and some mild sensuality (there is only 1 act of 13 that is truly sexual in nature) to enthrall for its 90 minutes. The audience consists mainly of couples, with a few tables of men, and, unique to La Femme, some groups of women wanting to enjoy the female body displayed with class and respect. A must-see for classy entertainment.

2. Zumanity (NY-NY) - this is not your typical topless show. It is a Cirque du Soleil show, complete with the amazing stage-craft, excellent music, and of course top-notch acrobats and dancers. The show is VERY sexual - not for kids or the faint of heart. It is very well done, and although highly sexual, really only of a couple of acts are truly erotic. One of the best acts features two female contortionists, clad only in g-strings, writhing and contorting themselves sensually in a giant water bowl - very sensual, and generally considered the best part of the show. Another good segment features a male small person and a tall, topless blonde. The woman soars overhead on white ropes, swooping down to the man in an almost teasing fashion. This was my favorite part of the show, combining sensuality with a moving message. Audience is almost entirely couples.

3. Folies Bergere (Tropicana) - this Vegas classic is your standard topless show, complete with numberous showgirls in extravagant constumes, juggling acts, comedy, fantastic sets, and wonderful dancing. The lead singer Traci Ault owns the stage, and while very beautiful in her own rite, we only get a glimpse of her nude silhouette as she changes behind a screen. My favorite element of the show is the duo that performs the adagio sequences in the show. The woman is beautiful and performs topless, and it is obvious she and her partner are both superb dancers. Wally Eastwood is talented, hilarious, and energetic - one of the best specialty acts on the strip. If you want classic Vegas showgirls, great dancing, and wonderful sets and costumes, this is your show. Note: the 7:30 shows are covered, while all others are topless. Audience is couples and families.

4. Jubilee (Bally's) - like Folies, this is classic Vegas. The two shows are similar in style, but I liked Folies just a little better because of the lead singers and the dancing. But Jubilee is a great show, with 85 cast members, the best costumes in Vegas, and the most elaborate set outside of the Cirque du Soleil shows. There are four main acts, the first a tribute to women, the second a sexy Samson and Delilah act, the third a Titanic set, and the last a tribute to dance. The showgirls don't really dance in this show, but are gorgeous in their elaborate costumes (sans tops), and really know how to present themselves. This is the favorite show of many women because of the wonderful costumes, and the one scene with very scantily clad males. There is also a tour of the show that can be taken in the early afternoon, led by a showgirl - definitely worth the $10. Audience is entirely couples and families.

5. X - An Erotic Adventure (Aladdin) - I was very pleasantly surprised by the quality of this show. I went in thinking it would be something along the lines of Crazy Girls (see below), but it turned out to be a very fun, entertaining, surprisingly imaginative production. For pure hotness, these dancers are tops on the Strip. For zoning purposes they wear small black X marks on their nipples, but are otherwise bare from the waste up for the entire show. There are some humorous segments, and a solo piece that the gorgeous lead dancer performs largely en pointe. I had a hard time putting this one ahead of Skintight, but I think the dancing was better, the show longer, and the performers more "into it" at X. Audience is surprisingly almost all couples, with some males.

6. Skintight (Harrah's) - this is a simple, short, fun show that is unmatched for pure energy and exuberance. The showgirls wear only in thongs throughout, with only one act featuring the classic Vegas costume. This show is also unique for its male dancers, clad mostly in tight leather pants with the butt part cut out. Like X, this show is unabashed in its light, playful sexuality, with a very erotic segment featuring the males and females together, a fun striptease for a few lucky male audience members who are pulled onstage, and an incredible strip during which lead singer Shannon O'Keefe dances with the male cast, strips, and sings all at once, culminating in very brief full nudity. A fun show for those wanting a quick break from the casinos. The audience consists of nearly 100% couples.

7. Bite (Stratosphere) - so, you want to create an erotic topless show with a host of 6 beautiful, talented dancers? Wonderful! You want to have a lovely scene with two acrobatics entwining sensually while suspended overhead? Excellent! You want to have the breathtakingly beautiful lead dancer stripped to almost nothing by the other topless dancers in one of the most intensely erotic scenes on the strip? Fantastic! But with all that, why do you need the vampire theme? This show is so filled with potential, but came off all wrong because of the overemphasis on the vampire motif. The dancers lose a great deal of their appeal to me when they wear fangs throughout the show. And the set and props were too hokie to be taken seriously, not to mention a distraction at times. The show certainly gets an A for effort and creativity, for some wonderful set pieces, including those listed above, and a classical ballet performed in only tine black tutus. After considering ranking this #5 behind Jubilee, I dropped it below X and Skintight because I would go see those ahead of Bite. Great ideas, great potential, average execution. Audience is almost entirely couples, with some small groups of men, and groups of women who took the vampire angle a bit too seriously.

8. Midnight Fantasy (Luxor) - this is another show that revels in female sexuality. The entire cast is female (except for a lone male tap-dancer), and the girls wear thongs as the only costume. The dancing is actually pretty good, the lighting is well-done, and the set, while simple, is effective. The premise is that each scene is a different fantasy, from two girls frolicking in bed, to an amazingly well-choreographed bondage number, to a secret agent striptease. While it seems geared toward the males, it actually appeals to women for its female-centric view: the fantasies are all female, and the comedian rips on the males in the audience. This show is just pure, light, fun entertainment. Audience is mostly couples, with a few small groups of men.

9. Aussie Angels (Las Vegas Hilton) - once I saw the male revue "Thunder from Down Under" billboards, I knew it was only a matter of time before the female version hit Vegas. I haven't seen the male version (and never will), but I would imagine it satisfies the ladies more than this show satisfies the guys. The girls are all very beautiful with perfect bodies, and all great dancers with tons of personality. See the show for those qualities, but here are my criticisms. First, the set-up was mundane and more like a strip show than anything, with each of the 6 dancers getting her place in the spotlight; they all stand in the same place and strip the same way, with nothing new or original from act to act. Second, only 3 of the girls go topless, and there are no more than 2 topless girls on the stage at any one time. Quantity isn't everything, but they kept promising "more" as the show progressed, never to deliver. I had a good time, mainly because of the great dancing, beautiful bodies, and fun personalities, but if you want more depth, eroticism, and creativity, there are plenty of other options. Audience was about 2/3 couples, with the rest single men or groups of men.

10. Showgirls of Magic (San Remo) - I went to this show with very low expectations, but actually ended up having a great time. It is low-budget, but the five dancers have such personality and look like they are having so much fun, that you can't help but get into it. The magic is good for such a small stage (mainly disappearing and reappearing showgirls, with disappearing and reappearing tops), and they present it in a fun and sexy way. The theater is cramped and crowded, the set simple, and the music blaring, but this show is just a simple good time. Unlike the other shows, which feature all-American, "wholesome" showgirls, these ladies are sexy and sultry and they have no problem showing it. A good show for a fun change of pace. Audience is split between groups of males and couples.

11. Splash (Riviera) - for a show that features dancers, amazing "big cat" magic, motorcyclists in a small cage, and figure skaters, I was never really enthused during its 90 minutes. The performers are talented, but somehow it lacked gusto and that unique flare that makes the other shows so much fun. The showgirls are beautiful but serve mainly as showpieces between the specialty acts. There is very little dancing, and things just seem out of joint and oddly placed. Maybe on a different night in a different seat I would have enjoyed it more, but I had a hard time with this show. However, if you want a classic Vegas variety show with daring acts and beautiful topless showgirls, you should enjoy Splash. Audience is couples and families.

12. Crazy Girls (Riviera) - another fun, but so blatantly sexual show it was almost like being in a strip joint. The girls are, like Showgirls of Magic, sexy and sultry, with most of their dances stripteases. Not that I had a problem enjoying the view, but after the 2nd or 3rd strip, you've seen the whole show. The dancers do have a lot of spirit, and the number titled "Boobs" is truly hilarious, as much for the ladies in the audience as the men. Some of the acts are rip-offs from the Crazy Horse, which, in comparison to La Femme, are positively amateurish. Geared toward men, this sexy show filled with eye-candy is sure to titillate. Audience is mostly males, with some couples and groups of young people of both sexes.

10. Bottoms Up (Flamingo) - this afternoon show (no longer playing), in my opinion, is the only topless show that exploits its dancers and is borderline offensive. The shows itself features lame and stale humor, with a few acts featuring 4 topless dancers, one of which was crude, absurd, exploitative, and not the least bit sexy. This show is cheap and in the afternoon, but really not worth the time. It is the only Vegas show of all that I've seen that I would recommend skipping. There are much better ways to spend $20. Audience is mostly couples with some groups of males.

Hope you enjoy - I love Vegas shows of all types, but the topless show is a fun event unique to Vegas. If you have any comments on these rankings or further questions, I'd love to hear...